0

bender outcomes

I love to work.

Put your head down, and drink from action.
Change things, and maybe there's a better you at some point on the timeline.
A healthy way to lose yourself.

I want to lose myself in her.
I want to lose myself in the next round.
I want to lose myself in a rolling paper.

But this is my life, and addictions and attachments don't lead to podiums.

There is just so, so much suffering that tints this human experience.

And I just want something good, something that wants me, something authentic.

Something that hates my loneliness as much as I do.

I want it to crawl through my veins, I want it to wear me.

I want it now and forever.

I know it's real and I haven't earned it yet.

The faith courses bloodlines under the skin of longing.

There's only one path.

I love to work.

0

Starchild

these rings around this planet keep swelling,

the silent pull of airborne events,
locked steady into orbit, 
a shattered anthropology,
hopes, and prayers, and apologies.
A minefield on approach,
protecting a battered heavenly body,
this planet can bear life,
a vulnerable curiosity asked you,
human nature tasked you,
this ecosystem is luxuriant if you catch it in season.
Oh the orchards that splay over its surface,
swollen and sweet to sustain you,
aching to drop into hungry hands,
thirst and hunger are riddles to be solved by this nature.
Traveller does this not implore you?
This very moment is built to captivate you,
setting you free,
It's called satisfaction,
the remedy for a rapacious poison.
Pilgrim land, understand, this is the plan,
your footprints in the warm sand, 
were decided by the Most High's hand,
when chosen makes the same sand golden.
It's all you never wanted, all you ever needed.

0

Furtive glances

Hold your breath,
This is the part where the pressure in the airlock drops,
And if you don't time it just right...
Your heart might just stop.
It's the vacuum that wants you back,
The crushing groans of the lack,
And the night, and the nothing,
That stretches time between those urgent worlds of fire.
Take the time to mourn for those fresh breaths,
Yearn for full lungs again,
To consume without thinking,
Those moments taste like freedom,
I'm starting to forget them.
The outside is below freezing,
And the panic at the vastness,
Has my focus captive,
Just enough to get through it,
To not need it, to not want it,
To eat the sun like the bodhi trees do.



0

The Dust at Dusk

Another cigarette burns carelessly between two fingers,

good company, old friend,
the smoke is a reminder,
nothing lasts, nothing should.
Tonight's full moon has turned the world into an upside exclamation point,
shouting instructions in a language,
too subtle to decipher.
I know something is wrong, 
it's felt in the crack of knuckles,
the shallow sound escaping a drawn out yawn,
the dull loneliness that scuttles in your periphery,
haunts all the corners,
and reminds you of lovers,
that slipped through the fingers,
like time through the minutes marked on a clock.

It's withdrawal you know.
Love is a drug,
I need you cause I love you,
I love you cause I need you,
I need to know the difference, 
I refuse to stop trying.
I knew it once,
but the timing was wrong,
said the stitches to the itches,
trying in vain to hold on.
This full moon will rise,
and the tension from the tides,
will crash on your conscience,
and pull each one slowly.
So as you bleed for the last,
and pray for the next,
in breaths that yearn to follow the bubbles stolen from jaded, swollen lungs,
Just to be pulled under,
a victim of submission,
just to be found again,
and drown again.



0

Spin doctor

She laps against my ankles, an ocean and a taste
Forever is the fear that bends my legs,
and keeps me here.
Why swim when I breathe air,
solid ground is rare enough,
I raise my knees to my chest,
match time with an increasing pulse.
These lush highs keep me dizzy,
busy holding consciousness,
lamenting my conscience,
as it shows up,
a moment too late.
The lesson in her eyes,
that close,
at my expense.
I can't sleep beside you.

0

SunBurnt

Romance is my reason,
it was the whisper that conceived me,
the womb that received me,
the light and the push divine.
And I'm a victim of its circumstance
the pulse pulse pulse
and the gravity urges me,
onward, ever onward.
waves of royal purple,
sparked from the contact,
tongues of fire leap,
from a star always burning.
I want you and I'll swallow it,
as a human wrapped in concrete
the weight of these polite boulevards,
hide the wild riverbeds.
And in my head,
is a grand hall of candles,
a bed of warm white sand,
and a skylight above us.

0

North American

I am North American.
And you can't test my hustle.
Not with a panel of scientists, a box of number two pencils, undoing a bra strap with three hooks, before the fourth and final exam.
Ambition is the race against the mirror,
and judging by shit smeared deluge of celebrity chatter,
we spend way too much time here. Tweet that.
Over on this side of Greenwich,
We don't have time for tea, baguettes or siestas,
I'm so jacked on my dirty chai lattes
I'm reading the news from Tokyo,
translated real time to my iPhone,
cause those mafuckers are so efficient,
they're already in tomorrow,
and I need to get that news yesterday.
Over here, we casually date the time line.
You know why?
Cause we keep shit fresh.
Any new form of music to hit the radio waves in the last 100 years,
yeah that was us.
And we gonna put it on blast, you know how,
the internet,
yeah that was us too.
We have so many internet jacks, that sometimes late at night, in between the planes flying over head,
if you listen real close, you can hear the sound of the new generation fapping their way through an early puberty.
Digital natives represent. And if you don't know what fapping means, head down to the library, and ask the librarian to open up google for you.
Porn is effective birth control. Rss me.
Times have changed, cause we've changed them.
Long for yesteryear?
So do divorcees, but ain't gonna change the fact, that they're never coming back.
Time to move on, peep the technique:
Canada's national animal is a beaver,
cause we bout building shit out of trees,
we'll block a river to do it, and we'll look fresh as hell in a lush fur coat.
It's cold up here, and if you got time to chill, its cause your not moving fast enough.
America's national animal used to be a bald eagle,
but now it's a giant dick.
You know why?
Fuck you, that's why.
The US is about one thing: manifest destiny.
They believe they're number one, and they don't care what you, the UN, the middle east, history or the Pope have to say about it.
They want it, they take it.
Capitalism 101, hey we made this system where our money is the best, use it.
Hey you're mad cause we change the rules to a system we sold you, shut up.
If you really have a problem look up, those are flying robots with bombs on them.
They're dicks, but they don't keep it a secret.
Lastly we have the Golden Eagle rounding out the amero zoo, down in good ol Mexico.
Mexicans bring you tequila, chocolate, salsa, both the dance and the sauce, and tequila.
Mexican girls are notoriously hard to get with, apparently this is justified by the old wives tale:
"Sexy mexicanas skeet candy and pure aztec gold"
Who knows, mexican cartel leaders that's who.
Are you high on opiates right now, God knows I am, largest producer after Afghanistan. Real talk.
Over here in the western world, we're as civilized as a dry gin martini,
We like our women like we like our media,
fast, biased and seducing us to consume,
I'm going to take over the world,
cause my hustle has been refined by a labour market,
that has fondled my balls since they dropped.
Peace.