cigarette smoke snakes, and rises
through tense, incensed air in this sanctuary.
the door is closed, and I lie here alone.
fighting the call of sleep,
after a long day it is begging me.
I can't, I must pine.
to be honest, I need be with this loneliness right now,
this life is so bloated with beauty,
that I want to hold on to this rain cloud,
and ache for a little longer.
to long for the hollywood starlet,
she who dims the lights and softens the focus
who cues the orchestra crescendo,
the one who I climax to,
my sole catharsis,
my denouement,
and the resolution to the conflict,
that I fight in this bed,
for I am a warrior,
and it is romantic to do so.

Sometimes it feels like standing in lines to buy a ticket,
to buy a moment,
eat popcorn and sit with it.
to stare fixed at the screen,
that pulses my dream,
of finding the one, to miss a plane for.
And I hope I'm sure,
that what I'm working towards,
is working for,
a man that would spend a life's time, in adore, for her.
Where these cheap trinkets,
I call words, would be worth something more,
as I pour,
my heart
into everything,
tipping gas cans,
on to lit matches,
I ask this everyday.
and I wait, until the credits are finished,
and the lights are long on,
and I'm the only one not gone,
cause I watch while I wait,
the weight of something that great,
keeps me here,
waiting for her to pass by,
waiting here to catch eyes.

My life is a tarot deck,