I can't take how soft I am around you anymore.
I present my heart at a level that is a gift to me,
and for all the psychology that been swalllowed into me, there are too many layers to dissect.
I (don't) know it's not me.
Those daggers your gaze lasers at me.
They slice me deftly.
A night of: laughter, joy and promise
my stomach churns of vomit.
This unconditional love that burns in the hearth always
is always for you, has always been for you, no one but you
And I can't take how soft I am around you anymore
I am always and decidedly, consciously naked around you
I pray to the day the physical found you.
Allowed you to: allow me to-
Love someone as the Most High
I see that in you, truly
I give you the power to unglue me
There are no walls to you
no barriers, frontiers, no-thing that can even nightmare on impeding the exchange
yet those looks leave me
feeling
like the perpetrating side of betrayal
I'm just getting to see this anger for the first time
which means to me
that the honeymoon is over, little sister.
This is where reality creeps into the seams and
ideals are lost in flashes
Experience is the only fair trade for innocense
So in a very real sense,
I'm going to try different.
this is not a lucky easy space where I am you in the alter verse,
you are the spark I cherished pedestalled
>for that exact reason<
And because I can't take how soft I am around you anymore
and pendulum swings can blaspheme anything (especially extremes)
It screams to me that:
We have work to do.
I will fight for you
I have to
I love you
(so much it engulfs me)
Wow, this speaks to me as a very real pace within the mind that is experienced individually by many and most often alone with oneself.