Remember laying in a bed never made,
the floor boards warped and stained with the irresponsibility of adolescence.
Remember the weight on your chest and the pain of the breath.
The nights in the bathroom with tears and swears forced,
guts twisted and peace divorced.
Remember waiting for the bus on the east hill,
gnarled jagged vicious needles,
one for every degree below freezing,
the winter death's pale strength in arms length.
Remember the staircase on walkley,
alone, head in hands, pensive as the stolen cigarette smoke.
Feeling the precise slice of surgical cruelty, that being second best,
to the first heart, will produce copiously.
Never forget the broken hearts.
Never ever forget the broken hearts.
Women who saw in you something brighter.
Women who let you into that which that which they hold so precious.
That which they exist to give.
Remember how it felt to tell them no.
To tell them you weren't there with them.
That in the moment they needed you most, exposed as only three words can,
what it took to tell them the truth.
To visit upon them, no matter how well intentioned,
honourably mentioned, conscious and sentient, the actions and conventions,
how beautiful and wonderous and whole they made you
the worst pain imagined,
from their greatest joy,
is your
distance.
Remember how that feels.
To realize what that means,
when it is much too late.
To be gifted with hope in the rain from those who were there,
those who saw it in my eyes.
remember the decision
remember the shine that made you understand the tradition
remember the one moment she gave you
remember what it is to want to give another person:
everything
Remember the look in thier eyes when they just weren't there with you
remember how the warmth that inflamed you
exploded to horror and fell forever
Remember that everyday.
Remember the pilgrimage
The fear and freedom
Remember the message
For now, that is all you have
The only promise ever made to the Most High
The only thing that matters
the first and last priority.
enjoy the daily gifts
enjoy the faith that bridges over darkwatered doubt
The one thing that can never be forgotten
the only certainty
the only pure and perfect
Remember that this life is a service
it does not belong to you
you belong to your purpose.
Remember to never give up
loving, learning, leading, listening, lighting, loving
Remember that always
in the hardship is hardness
that you are gifted trials because you are loved
and that which you believe in
believes in you
Remember that you asked
And you will get what you deserve.
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