It is the subtle hand holds I miss most,
Pulling you close, closing my eyes and melting into
Deep purple and blue was the ambiance
Between us
Chemistry factored mathmatically
Our simple symmetry was ATCG
Here in this week, alone as empty calenders
tucked into dusty basement boxes
that are lost in forgotten.
Lonliness was ninja like-hiding in shadowed porticos
Until finally snaking into my perceptions peephole
My stomach is a tulmut of noxious bubbling tar
I feel akin to the space between stars.
Blackness through nothingness, subsisting as contrast
For now I turn blind eyes towards the no-more brilliance
I feel the plight of plastic white, bags,
hanging in the rain, until the next forgetful dog owner
moves to stoop out of duty and shame.
I feel heroin sick, writhing in lack, self victimized,
Ambitious addict, broken and wracked, tears blur burnt eyes
Self medicated, damn this westernized enterprise
Surrounded by all this affluence, so I have to internalize
A selfish shellfish adhered to slime on sea rocks
Bebe la la in a land as large as my thoughts
My choices were the dance steps that invited this greyness
Raining out the parade, wash until fade
Until all the labels are made nameless
I pushed away, when asked to stay-
So I asked away, "WHY?!"
To the universe that designed this
Fate spake nothing, and left me to my selfishness

....and lonliness.